A Guest post from my friend Maggie who recently finished treatment for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma:
The real question is…. after being a bald woman for 6 months… once my hair grows back, will I ever complain about it again? Look at it and constantly wish it was different? “Better?”
In all honesty, I used to think “it’s too thin/it’s not straight enough/it doesn’t grow long enough/etc etc etc”. Her (fill in random person) hair is better/nicer/prettier/etc etc. I wish mine was (fill in the blank…) oh yeah and my eyebrows are too thin. And my lashes aren’t long enough. And and and…
Now I’m like “where should I draw my eyebrows on today… I think they *should* probably go right about…here??? 🤷♀️😆 some days it’s super annoying but some days I have fun with it. Maybe I draw on just one to be weird and crack up with my husband at how funny I look 😆. That’s me being me. You have to just make jokes when you can… you gotta be able to laugh.
I’ve never been a super girly girly but let me tell ya these changes have not been easy.
So I’m reflecting. A lot. Perspective is a funny thing. Hindsight is 20/20. You can always see clearer when you’re looking back on things. And that’s okay sometimes, I think. The real important thing is you learn, you grow, you change.
What am I learning? Here’s a few things: thankfulness for what I have; how comparison is the thief of joy; how you don’t realize how good you have something until it’s gone. Even the vary things you complain about. Or think aren’t good enough. They actually are treasures. Sometimes wanting more/better/different xyz… it’s a lie. It steals your happiness. I’m learning as the Bible says “to be content in all situations… in need and in want…”. Still learning.
These are things we often hear, sometimes said as cliches. “You don’t know what you got til it’s gone”, for example. We’ve all heard it a million times. maybe we know this logically, but how often do we pause, reflect, and actually apply these and other truths to our hearts? Experience them?
What does this look like for me? Well, now, I have some dark “thick” (in comparison to my previous bald potato head) buzz coming in. and I’m all like…. WAHOOO!!!
And even funnier… I’ve really missed my thin wavy floppy baby soft hair. Yeah, the stuff I complained about a lot, and thought wasn’t “good enough”, should be better, was insecure of at times, in this way or that.
How many things do we do that with in our lives? I’ll be the first to admit it; the hair is just one example. There are other areas of myself at times I’ve wished were “different” or “better”. Don’t we all? we’re human. Imperfect beings. Psychologically we more naturally remember the negatives more easily than the positives. We can be at times critical of ourselves or others. We look to what’s next, what’s better, we compare. And the 10 good things that happened today can be clouded by the one “not so good” thing. But we don’t have to just accept worldly standards and labels for our hearts and minds.
Let’s choose to fight to focus on the good. Challenge the thoughts that tell us something about us, something we have, isn’t good enough or would be better some other way. Often those are lies, and they steal contentment. Acknowledge the negative but don’t let it take over. Learn and grow and challenge the status quo. I believe we find freedom in doing this, and we don’t have to do it alone. God is with us and for us and wants us to be free, to experience the joys of each day! And even as a person who has SUFFERED… let me be clear… SUFFERED physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually through now 8 months of being REALLY sick… I have fought to find and focus on the joy. ❤️
Has it been perfect? No. Has it been easy? definitely not. Have I needed lots of help and support from my husband, my family, my friends, my church? Oh yeah! But it is possible. I choose to fight for this. Even in the darkest storms of life and the scariest moments. Even in the face of trauma. There can be peace. There can be joy. We can be hopeful and expectant. I know because I have experienced it. And it’s available to everyone!
So Im still learning a lot. And my perspective is stretching. So while I’m NOT happy I got cancer or for all the ways it has wrecked me or my loved ones, I AM thankful for what it is teaching me. Never thought I’d be able to say that, honestly.
So… yes. I think Ill be happy if/when my hair comes back, just as it was before. Or… even if it’s different. Because honestly… it’s really not as important as I thought it was after all.