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Thoughts on Friendship

I’m not the type of person that takes a friendship lightly; I’m fiercely loyal to my friends. However, there comes a point in all new friendships were you must decide: will we remain friends for the foreseeable future or will our friendship crumble? Friendships that last have all come to the same conclusion: we can not change the other person. That annoying thing they do? Chances are, it isn’t going away. So, whether we are in a new friendship or relationship, we must ask ourselves am I still getting all that I need from this friendship even with these annoyances? If the answer is no, then sadly you need to walk away from that friendship. If the answer is yes, then you need to accept the annoyances and move on.

I have certain friends in my life who each serve a specific function. Like a Swiss Army Knife, each one, being created by God, is suited for different situations. I have my friend who is incredibly grounded in God’s word, I have a friend who is incredibly optimistic, I have my friend who is easy going, yet can see me through anxiety, and I have a friend who is incredibly passionate about all things. I don’t always take everything to all of them. There are certain topics that I don’t take to certain people. There are certain things that just stay with me. I may get frustrated when my optimistic friend doesn’t think critically enough about a decision I’m trying to make. But I have to remind myself that in doing so, I’m asking her to be fundamentally different from who she is.

I love the movie The Sound of Music. In the film, Max is trying to convince Captain Von Trap to perform at the festival. Realizing he can’t convince the Captain, Max seeks out Maria’s help to which she responds, “Max I can not ask him to be less than he is”. If our friend is too _____ (fill in with any negative or positive quality you wish) and you ask them to change, in a sense you are asking them to be less of who they are. There is a reason why friends walk in and out of our lives and it has to do with our being able, or in some cases when friendships don’t last,unable, to look past their faults. It is unreasonable to place expectations onto our friends to be someone or something that they are not. So, if a friendship or relationship has you down, I say it’s time to figure out if the friendship is worth it. If it is, try to celebrate each other more. If it isn’t, part ways wishing each other the very best.

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