I like every other person out there have felt insecure about my figure. I have always been a very petite person. Growing up, I was muscular with little to no fat on my body. When I wasn’t running round outside or playing some other active game like king of the mountain I was doing gymnastics, cheerleading, track or some other activity. I never had to worry about what I ate. Never had to worry about gaining weight either because I was burning so much off.
Even in college, I never had to worry about calorie intake because as a cheerleader, you ran it off. We had regular workouts. We had scheduled weights, running and of course practices. I always had scheduled workouts for me and never had to really work at keeping a figure. Not to mention at football and basketball games, you were always moving! Post college however is a very different sort.
I have been out of college now for almost 5-1/2 years. To most who know me or see me, they see the same old Catie who never has to worry about what she eats and she is always thin. Well that is not always what I see. I know that I have been blessed with a nice figure but that doesn’t mean it’s not without things I would love to work on. I would love to have the energy to go to the gym to tone up.
This past year with working full-time and going to school, it was near impossible for me to workout. I was putting in 16+ hour days and I cannot say my body didn’t suffer. Trying to eat healthy became harder and more of a discipline. Reaching for a bag of chips was easier than packing an apple. There are some days now where I get home and the LAST thing I want to do is go to the gym. My joints hurt, I am tired, my stomach is upset, I have to do laundry and the dishes…..and this is just me!! My stress level has been so elevated that I just don’t want to add on any more….you know there are the usual excuses.
I have come to terms that certain outfits of mine are just not fitting like they used to fit. I have a little belly on me. My arms are a little flabbier. My thighs are still Thunder Thighs. I still have my curves….yet I feel curvier than I used to be. That makes me rethink what I wear as I want to be modest. I find myself reaching for clothing articles that help you suck it in and hold it together verse just look cute and carefree. Why can’t I accept that I am not where I was 10+ years ago and I shouldn’t expect my body to be either? Why is it so hard to want to maintain this youthful built, relatively stress free, and care about getting rid of the jello giggler arms I have?
It just gets frustrating and I need to remind myself no one is perfect. I need to be realistic with myself. I also need to be honest. No body is ever going to be what we desire it to be. As we get older, aging and gravity take its toll. We should accept that fact with grace and appreciation…not with bitterness and disgust. Yes, there are things I can do to prevent this from happening and I am mindful of that too. If I want to be fit, I need to make the time to workout. I need to continue to do my calf raises while brushing my teeth. I need to me mindful of not sitting for too long on the couch and work those muscle. I need to do that for me and my health.
Although I am discouraged about my figure, I am reminded that no one goes without struggles or frustrations. I found a really wonderful video that I would like to encourage you to watch. I think it simply demonstrates our natural reactions to a less perfect design. Keep in mind, we all have expectations to shape and form, but nothing is perfect remember? http://devour.com/video/who-is-perfect/.
Lastly, this blog made me pleasantly smile. It made me happy to know and see this mother desires her daughter to know what is important in life and that is not about working yourself to death just simply to get the “perfect body”. This is much of what my parents instilled in me and my siblings. We strived for healthiness not perfection. The important thing is to live life as it should be lived and that is NOT focused on what we aren’t.
So, who is perfect? Nobody….thank goodness! 🙂