I woke up this morning feel defeated. The last few weeks things have been a bit rough. On top of that, I woke up at 4:30 for no reason and couldn’t fall back asleep. I got up eventually, got ready for work, and went there frustrated and grouchy. If I was being completely honest, I wanted to crawl into a hole and not talk to people. We all know those days, right? Before I even got to work it was clear that things were not going as planned for the day. Commence tiny violins pl
As a nurse, there are weeks of work where I don’t sit longer than to quickly shove down my lunch down and to speedily chart. There are times I end a day with my legs aching and barely the strength lift open my eyes and all I can think is “my brain hurts.” But even in those moments, I can sit and say I love what I do. I didn’t choose it because it was easy, I chose it because I care. I’ve written about my job often, about how it isn’t easy and why I love it. This isn’t anythi
This is a guest blog from Erin E. She currently resides in Grand Rapids, MI with her family where she works on an inpatient oncology unit. I (Erica) am honored to call her not only a colleague but one of my dear, dear friends. Your heart is an inspiration, Erin! People often ask how I chose to work in oncology. I usually tell them my story and what brought me to Grand Rapids and my oncology patients. The truth is, oncology chose me. As a new nurse, I was hungry to work. I was
Dear Breast Cancer Patient, Since I first wrote to you a lot has happened. New research is coming out every single day. Recently I received another e-mail about another genetic marker for breast cancer. But here is the thing. Since I first wrote to you, some of you have passed on for this earth. Some of you far too young. It wasn’t that long ago that I was first meeting one of you. You had been battling this awful disease for many years. You were fighting to have just a few m
I love what the ice bucket challenge did. I love that it brought so much awareness to a disease that has brought so much heartache to so many people. I did the challenge, but here is my challenge to all of you. Choose a disease or disorder every month to learn more about and even potentially donate to for the next year. If we all chose to do this, I think we would be a lot more aware and hopefully financially we as a whole could propel medicine and research along faster. We l
I remember sitting there in a midweek service at my church as the speaker said “you young adults listen up… you don’t even think about death but you need to be aware it is real, it is very real.” I sat there as a young adult and wanted to yell.. heeey! not all of us. I haven’t ever died and I haven’t personally stared death in the face myself. But I have walked with a lot of patients in their final days. I have been the one to listen and hear no heart beat. I have managed med
I’m an oncology nurse. I knew when I signed up for the job that it was a tough one and that tough conversations was part of it. But some weeks the tough conversations are never ending. And sometimes the tough conversations rip my heart to shreds. And sometimes I want to hop in my car and drive for miles. Or put on my running shoes and run until it makes sense. But here is the thing; it won’t make sense. Cancer doesn’t make sense. Some weeks cancer pisses me off more than othe
Dear Cancer Patient, Thank you. Thank you for teaching me about living. Truly living. Thank you for teaching me what it means to look forward even when a storm is chasing you from behind. Thank you for showing me what it means to “fight like hell” as the ABC Family show “Chasing Life” says. Thank you for showing me what sweet surrender means. Just thank you. The reason I do what I do is because of each of you. Because your thank yous, your hugs, because of your fight and yo
I was spending some time pinning this afternoon and came across this pin…. Underneath the pin it says “oncology nurse”. I 100% agree with this. On Friday afternoon I sat with my coworker who has been an oncology nurse for around 15 years as she had a meltdown asking me how she is going to continue to do this. Every nurse has these, no matter what field… but I feel like it is especially hard in a field like oncology. We see people’s lives getting cut short and changed drastic
I was debating on my blog topic for this week while sitting and watching the Superbowl. And then the Chevy commercial came on. I wasn’t quite sure what it was about, but the look on the wife’s face were tears of appreciation and joy and the look on the husband’s face of thankfulness and complete adoration reminded me of so many relationships I’ve witnessed within my job. And then came the truth, it was exactly about that. February 4, 2014 is world cancer day. And while I’m no
I remember the evening of January 19, 2010 like it was yesterday. I was in my 3rd week of nursing school when I had what I didn’t know was my final conversation with my grandpa. It pained me to speak to him because he sounded so weak. He died early in the morning on January 20. As of yesterday, that day now represents the day my family’s dog Maddie also entered into heaven as well. It was sudden and she was only 5 years old, but she died doing something she absolutely loved,
I love my job. Even on the toughest days I can’t imagine doing anything else at this point in my career. Just a few weeks ago in the span of 48 hours in my work e-mail we had 6 obituaries of patients. Since then there have been a few more to follow. Many of these were moms with young children. My heart broke for these families, especially as the holidays approach they will face a new emptiness. That isn’t easy. But despite what many may think, my job is not always sad news.
It was with you that I got to start my nursing career. It was your cancer that I first got to know at an in depth view. I was there with you has you came back from your TAH/BSO and whatever else they felt needed to be done. As you rolled up to the floor from the PACU in so much pain I was immediately running to get pain meds. I was there with you as you could barely keep your eyes open from the pain medication but you were also anxiously waiting to see what the doctors foun