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A Bittersweet End and Beginning

I am all too quickly realizing that our family is approaching the end of the baby chapter. Hank (baby 3) will soon be one year old and full-time walking – he’ll be a toddler. It is exciting to see him become a more “fun” interactive and rambunctious boy, but does make my mommy heart a bit sad.

I am your parent you are my child

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy with having three children and do not want anymore. Steven and I both have peace about our family as it is. But it doesn’t mean that seeing the baby chapter end is easy. I remember the moment I realized it was happening. I put Hank down for his nap without swaddling him (he loved his swaddle). I was happy to get him down, but suddenly realized my days of swaddling my babies are over. It seems small, but that’s the thing about endings, it’s the small things that can get you.

The last brand new newborn in my arms. The last first smile. The last laugh. The last night a baby slept in our room. The last gummy no teeth smile. The last first tooth. The last first step.

So forgive me if I hold on a little longer this time. Forgive me if Hank goes shoeless a little too long (my effort to ignore he is walking). Forgive me if I hold out on changing to the bigger clothes. Forgive me if I get misty eyed singing him happy birthday. Forgive me if I don’t give away the baby toys right away. Let my mommy heart let go when I am ready.

While we end this baby chapter, we begin a new chapter. We enter the school chapter. Mady is in preschool this year, and next year will start Kindergarten. It is hard to believe we will have child in full time school. We are excited and nervous. It’s a whole new world we are venturing into. And if you have ever had a child in schools in California you know that just choosing a school is a challenge in itself.

This is how life goes though. You move through different chapters that God has written for you.

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